Quiet Brain

The last few weeks, I have found my brain to be quiet. At a level I cannot remember in decades, perhaps ever. Therapy and focusing on sleep improvements, as well as decreasing pain levels have to be a big part of this. I really, really like having a brain that doesn’t pester me with negative thoughts, fears, and judgments.

However . . .

I have also found that I am no longer being pestered by thoughts of what I should write about next. My whole life, I have had long lists of things (sometimes written down, often just pressing in my mind for years on end). I haven’t had that for the past month. And I am sitting here, trying to decide what it means or what I should do about it.

As per therapy, I am trying to simply be curious about my brain and not jump to the conclusion that this is a permanent state. I am aware of the reality that many of my writer friends have told me that getting on the right medication for mental health issues has often resulted in them producing less or even not creating at all anymore. I always thought that was nonsense. This from the woman who was known in my old writer’s group for bringing pages every fucking week, even in weeks I gave birth. Because my brain had ideas of what to deliver between every contraction (not during them, no).

Maybe it is the holidays and work stress and just my brain being filled with other life issues. Maybe I will come back to writing full force next year. I will keep you posted, but in case you were wondering what happened to me, this is what happened to me.