Men Giving Women Advice

One of the things that annoys me most on the internet is men giving women advice, particularly about working out and nutrition. Working out and nutrition are so very, very different for men than for women. Men often think that losing weight is “easy” and all you have to do is “eat 1800 calories” a day and do thirty minutes of weight training to see massive results. Wrong. This isn't the way it works if you're a woman. But you know what? Even if it was good advice, I still have a problem with men telling women what to do with their bodies.

I will watch the hell out of a video with a fit, muscular woman telling other women that if they want to get fit, they have to start EATING MORE. God, I love videos like that. I hate the culture that we have in America where women are only considered fit and healthy if they are very, very thin and eat lettuce all day long and do cardio until they're dead. There are lots of ways to be healthy, and lots of ways for women to look fabulous. No one needs to be shamed for looking a certain way. But you know I'm an athlete and I like being able to do cool stuff with my body. I like pushing it hard and I like seeing improvements.

The last sixteen months, I've worked once a week with a trainer over video phone. I've had fun making PR's in various weight lifting moves, especially since I've been frustrated with my falling times in triathlon and my problems with an ongoing Achilles injury with regard to my running. It has been interesting and fun to switch focus to something very different.

One of my current rules is that I don't have a scale in my house. I don't know what my weight is. I do know that over the last sixteen months, I've grown out of some of my old clothes. I've been trying to focus on healthy workouts and healthy food and not focus on whether I fit in size 4 jeans anymore. The holidays always mean that I put on some weight and when I looked in the mirror (briefly), I felt frustrated that my body doesn't look the way it did a few years ago when I was at the peak of my Ironman fitness. But I refused to starve myself and have continued to try to follow my one main rule of healthy eating: eating ten fresh fruits and vegetables every day.

The last couple of weeks, I've been surprised to see that I can see my abs more clearly defined. And my butt and legs are more muscular, as well. I still don't fit into my old size 4 jeans. Based on the only weigh-in at the doctor's office, I've put on about ten pounds. But you know what? I'm happy with my body. I'm happy with being able to lift more. I'm happy that I can still make improvements to my fitness, even if not the way I thought I would have wanted to last year.

I've worked with male trainers who were good at what they did and clearly knew that women's bodies and men's bodies were not the same. But when it's a video online of a man I've never met in person, I just can't stand to listen to men's advice about women's bodies. I'm going to choose women trainers instead. I'm going to watch videos with women training and not men.

No, I'm not worried that I'm going to end up with a masculine physique. I'm not terribly concerned about a number on a scale. My body isn't a temple and it isn't made to be worshiped. It's not a sculpture, either. It's a functional piece. It's meant to be lived inside of, not stared at. I try to eat food that tastes good. I eat dessert almost every day, small or large. I've let go of counting calories and “earning” treats by exercising longer or harder.

In a weird way, I think that I actually do treat my body like men treat theirs. I'm not trying to get attention. I'm just trying to live here.