Krampus Day/Mompus Day

Since the divorce started in 2020, Christmas has been—fraught. And so, last year, Krampus Day (which the kids sometimes call “Mompus Day”) was born. I know that the word belongs to a tradition that isn’t really mine, though I have a PhD in Germanic Languages and Literatures. I will not pretend that I am doing anything that is remotely related to the real Krampus Day. It is my new tradition, born out of a new life that wasn’t entirely my choice and which I don’t always like very much. Here is what Krampus Day consists of:

1. Games before dinner, because some of the kids don’t like to play games.

2. The worst possible snack items that anyone can find throughout the year, including last year: pickle taffy, pickle flavored homemade alcohol, hamburger flavored candy, and a smorgasbord of weird nuts and dried or pickled fruits and vegetables.

3. Takeout dinner, so far Indian and Thai food ordered at the maximum level of spiciness for at least one dish.

4. A moderate amount of alcohol for those who imbibe.

5. Krampus cookies (made with a mold with a terrifying figure on it).

6. A ridiculous cake made to look like Mom’s head or the head of another family member (one of the better chefs in the family is in charge of this).

7. Chatting and laughing and telling stories in the living room, around the gas fireplace that I like because I am always cold.

I’ve been excited to make my kids try out the salted Swedish licorice that I tasted at a group party during the summer, and that I was able to take home with me because no one else wanted them. I have a couple of other secret nasties saved up that everyone will be forced to at least try once, with the garbage can nearby. There’s even some “dessert mac and cheese” made with chocolate, graham crackers, and mascarpone cheese. I can’t wait to see what the kids bring because last year’s pickle taffy and pickle alcohol were truly disgusting. It’s pretty fun to watch people’s faces as they spit it out or try to swallow—if they’re brave enough to try it. It helps get through difficult parts of a year when you can laugh about terrible things together, or at least I think so.