Care and Feeding of Mette

My son-in-law wrote me a detailed, 8-page letter on the care of his beloved corgis before he and my daughter left for a one-month trip to Europe. I was so grateful for this and refer to it often. It has also made me think about how I might write to myself about how to take care of me.

Take Mette out for a walk each morning. She needs help to wake up and is often grumpy and confused in the morning. Also have a hot, caffeinated drink available for her, plus bread to make toast. She always has toast for breakfast, so don’t run out of bread.

Also because Mette is confused, it is very helpful if you will set out clothing the night before, both for workouts and for work. She needs comfortable clothing that doesn’t itch. Making fewer decisions in the morning helps her not hate being alive then.

Make sure that Mette goes to bed by ten p.m. She needs her sleep and does not function on less sleep than normal. She doesn’t like to stay up late, even on special occasions. Make sure she has her body pillow and a face mask and ear plugs so that she sleeps best.

Mette likes baths, so schedule daily time for a hot bath, sometimes with bubbles.

Mette often forgets to eat meals, so make sure that she has snacks easily available at her desk so she can eat between calls. She is also often too tired at the end of the day to make dinner, so as a backup, make sure there are a few frozen meals that she doesn’t hate available. Keep a budget for delivery for takeout.

Seeing friends isn’t something Mette makes a priority, so she needs reminders from others to go out to lunch or dinner once or twice a week so she spends time socially. Afterwards, she may struggle with “vulnerability hangover,” so just remember that she’ll need alone time after to recover.

Mette’s love language is words of affirmation. If you think it’s obvious that she is smart and awesome and capable, please be aware that it is not always awesome to her. Let her know that you’re glad she is alive because she isn’t always sure if that’s true. Sometimes she even thinks that no one would notice or care if she were to disappear from existence.

Mette has a tendency to overwork and to overexercise. To try to help her with this, make sure to get her to rest in the evenings sitting on her butt watching mindless television. She likes wedding dress shows, reality TV and Grey’s Anatomy. She doesn’t like super emotional or intellectual television in general and please never try to get her to watch horror. It will make it impossible for her to sleep at night.

Mette has a sweet tooth and if you take sugar away from her, her mood will significantly decrease. But she also sometimes eat too much, so keep a good balance.

Mette needs to go to the dentist twice a year for cleanings. She is very sensitive to dental work, so she will need extra follow-ups and extra pain meds. Please don’t call her a baby or a wimp about this. It hurts her feelings.

Make sure Mette goes in for a bi-yearly mammogram. Her family has a history of breast cancer, and she doesn’t like to think about this. She also needs to go in to have a discussion regularly about her depression/anxiety meds.

Books are an important part of Mette’s life that she has forgotten about too much lately. Let her see books often so she will remember how important it is to read them. Also, make sure to budget for audiobooks, so she has something fun to listen to on her morning walks, as above.

In an emergency, take Mette to the hospital. Do not let her drive herself. Stay with her, even if she goes completely mute. She will need you to act as her voice because when she is in pain, she loses her words.

I recommend everyone write themselves a list like this and share it with someone you love. Maybe see what they would write, too.